I can’t do this! I think to myself as yet another thing goes wrong with my health. When trials and suffering stretch way past the daily challenges I face, I start to think how can I possibly keep going?
Choosing to fight a mental illness means going to war with your brain. Choosing to fight is saying to the beast called mental illness, I will not let you harm me, but I will let you make me stronger. It means flexing that mental muscle, putting on the armour and getting ready to go round after round in battle with your mind.
“It must be day ten”, I think as I wake up with my body searing with more pain than normal. An intense level […]
Even though this has been a challenging year, where it feels as though everything has been taken away from me, it was also a year of discovery. It was a year that God showed me that He was all I really needed.
The best word used to describe what it is like living with multiple illnesses is isolating. It is isolating because very few people understand what it is like living with a whole range of illnesses. It is isolating because you are not necessarily in a position to work, and have interaction found in a workplace. It’s isolating because after awhile you stop being invited to things, as you generally can’t turn up, so people think there is no point inviting you. It is isolating because friendships disappear, as you are no longer in a position to go out and see people. You know that the friendships that remain will last a long time, because these are the ones that have stuck by you.
When you spend your days at home trying to get better from these illnesses you’re unlikely to get better from, you eventually start to think do I have a reason for being alive? Is there really a plan or purpose to my life?…. The reality is that the plan that I had for my life is very different to the plan that God has for my life, and that doesn’t mean that I don’t have a purpose in being here on earth.
I have thousands of thoughts going around my head, screaming at me, vying for my attention, telling me something is true or something is not true that I become confused and overwhelmed that I don’t know which voice to listen to anymore.
People walking through the illness or disability are aware that they are not the only one who are in that situation, that they are not the only ones who are suffering, and that some people’s situations are worse than their current situation.
Although I seem to suffer from spiritual amnesia, and forget all the things God has done for me as I battle the hardships of life, God will always find a way to remind me of who He is and His love for me.
Living with multiple illnesses is like constantly tiptoeing around nicely placed rows of dominoes hoping everything remains in place. As soon as one domino is knocked, the whole system starts to collapse.