I looked at my stomach and saw the latest scars that were in this area as a result of a new treatment. These new scars were surrounding a much bigger scar from bowel surgery. I then looked at all the other scars on my body and saw that each scar told a story, but more importantly each scar points me back to the One who has scars in His hands and feet.
I can’t do this! I think to myself as yet another thing goes wrong with my health. When trials and suffering stretch way past the daily challenges I face, I start to think how can I possibly keep going?
Even though this has been a challenging year, where it feels as though everything has been taken away from me, it was also a year of discovery. It was a year that God showed me that He was all I really needed.
When you spend your days at home trying to get better from these illnesses you’re unlikely to get better from, you eventually start to think do I have a reason for being alive? Is there really a plan or purpose to my life?…. The reality is that the plan that I had for my life is very different to the plan that God has for my life, and that doesn’t mean that I don’t have a purpose in being here on earth.
Although I seem to suffer from spiritual amnesia, and forget all the things God has done for me as I battle the hardships of life, God will always find a way to remind me of who He is and His love for me.
One of the greatest battles that I have had in my journey of having illnesses and a disability is my constant desire to want to compare myself with others. I’m not only comparing myself to those that have active and healthy ‘normal’ lives, but also those who have their own health challenges.